Preschooler Finds a Xanax Inside One of Her Easter Eggs

A Michigan mother was very, very concerned to discover that there was a mysterious pill hidden inside a plastic egg from her preschooler’s Easter egg hunt. It was later identified as not a weirdly misshapen jelly bean, but rather Alprazolam, a generic version of Xanax.

For some reason, she called the school that organized the hunt, instead of seeing it as a generous gift to frazzled parents like herself, dealing with sugared-up children.

“For a little preschooler to bring home drugs in an Easter egg? That’s insane,” another parent from the same school, Huron Park Elementary, told Detroit’s WXYZ. Her five-year-old “would think it was candy. Yeah, he’s not going to go, mom. He’s going to think it’s a skittle or it’s a mint or something.”

The school asked for Easter donations, so the spiked egg might’ve come from outsiders, but they haven’t found any other drugs so far. The cops are currently investigating; let’s hope they haven’t impounded everyone’s Peeps. Maybe they should check with the Easter Bunny’s probation officer?