Illustration for article titled Predictions For Brigitte Bardots Presidential Platform

The bombshell-turned-animal-rights-activist-turned-anti-immigration-zealot, 76, has announced that she may run in 2012. Here's what we're guessing her platform will look like.


All animals, all the time.
Bardot, a famously passionate advocate for animal rights, has announced she may run because Sarkozy 'took her for an idiot' in not following through on his pledge to crack down on the ritual Muslim slaughter of animals; Bardot wants pre-slaughter anaesthetic to be legally mandated. As she says, "No matter whether it's someone from the political left or right, we just need a voice to stand up and defend animal rights." And says the head of the Independent Ecology Alliance, 'We think she is the best person to represent us for the presidency." Which really makes us curious about the other choices she beat out.

A hard line on immigration.
Bardot has been prosecuted and fined on four separate occasions for inciting racial hatred. In 1999, she devoted a chapter of her book to the fact that " country, France, my homeland, my land is again invaded by an overpopulation of foreigners, especially Muslims." She's written about the "underground and dangerous infiltration of Islam" and in an open letter to Sarkozy she stated, "I am fed up with being under the thumb of this population which is destroying us, destroying our country and imposing its acts." She's also supported far-right hardliner Jean-Marie Le Pen, with whom her husband is affiliated. She's written that she's against "the mixing of genes" but she's just in the grand tradition of ancient warriors who've "given their lives to push out invaders."


A mixed message on gay rights.
In her 2003 book A Scream in the Silence, Bardot referred to contemporary homosexuals as "fairground freaks" and those who "jiggle their bottoms, put their little fingers in the air and with their little castrato voices moan about what those ghastly heteros put them through" However, after facing a backlash for said comments, she wrote that "Apart from my husband-who maybe will cross over one day as well-I am entirely surrounded by homos. For years they have been my support, my friends, my adopted children, my confidants." So.

No women in government (except for herself).
Despite her own political ambitions, Bardot asserted in the same book that she didn't believe women should hold government office.

No lunch with Palin.
Bardot has called the Alaskan governor a "disgrace to women." If both women are elected in 2012, this could make for a major breach in International diplomacy.

Brigitte Bardot Wants To Run For French Presidency [Telegraph]

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So what's her base? Straight, French, purebred animals? But they can't vote! Désolée, Madame!