Powerful Brogurt: Yogurt for Bros

Real talk, ladies. Don’t you just hate it when you’re talking to a super cute guy at the gym and you think you’re getting your perfect flirt on, but then he pulls out a container of Greek yogurt and starts snacking on it like Greek yogurt is an okay thing for men to eat? It’s like — warning bells — this dude probably wears his mom’s nightgowns, smears lipstick all over his face and cries while watching A League of Their Own. It’s totally okay for a guy to have feelings, but it is not okay for them to have Fage yogurt-y premenstrual feelings, you know what I mean? Maybe — like, maybe — it would be okay if they made a special Greek yogurt for men, but until then, we are just going to have to put those guys on notice because, as the old saying goes, “Men are from protein shakes, women are from Jamie Lee Curtis’ remarkably regular butthole.”

But good news for the rightfully ashamed yogurt-loving bros out there (seriously, you make the world fucking sick). New yogurt (or “brogurt”) brand Powerful is here to get you out of the doghouse and into the cool guy house with their special greek yogurt made especially for dudes. And no, we are not talking about semen though it definitely sounds like it.

From their website Powerful.yt:

In a niche typically dominated by female consumers, we decided to develop a new Greek yogurt specifically suited to address the unique health and nutrition needs of the most neglected consumers in the category: men.

Also:

Our hope is that guys everywhere will find that this is exactly what they need for a healthy option in a world where it can be so difficult to eat right. We are not talking about Rocky Balboa but a regular dude like you and us, who works out now and then, who takes care of himself, who likes looking good but who also drinks beer and eats chicken wings.

And:

…high-protein, all-natural, great tasting, in a man-sized package…

(Still not talking about semen.)

If you’re still not sold on this man-sized protein shot, maybe you should consider the health benefits — I mean, bronifits:

Build Muscle: With a massive 25 grams of high-quality protein per cup, our Greek yogurt will support your efforts to build quality muscle. Additionally, it contains all of the essential amino acids needed for muscle repair and function.

Burn Fat: Studies have shown that dietary intake of calcium through yogurt can aid in fat loss.

Increase Fertility: Powerful Yogurt is high in the mineral zinc, which according to studies done at the University of Michigan can help male fertility by improving the quality of a man’s sperm.

BINGO. Now the jizz is talking!

What a mega cool/totally necessary product. Hopefully you can order by the case because, I don’t know about you, but I would hate to be the douchebag caught not eating Powerful brogurt like some sort of girly, flaming sane person.