Man-shaped trunk of beef jerky Post Malone talked to cool dad Jimmy Fallon and reckons heā€™s tougher than Justin Bieber and your mom COMBINED because he got tattoos. He says so himself [scroll to 5:17]:

We [Justin Bieber and Post Malone] were working on ā€˜Stoneyā€™, and we had a tattoo artist come through, and I thought ā€˜you know what? Justin Bieberā€™s got some tats, and I love you, but I know Iā€™m way tougher than you.ā€™


So he got a tat.

And then another one.

And another one.

And his mom is totally pissed.

Jimmy Fallon is positively swooning.

Cool story.

Deeper, much deeper, down into seriously dark masculine terrain, GQ challenges Rolling Stone to a duel over the relatively recent sad Johnny Depp portrait which highlighted his financial woes and Amber Heardā€™s allegations of domestic violence.


But first, Depp talks putting your balls over your dick.

ā€œWell, a Texas Belt Buckle is where you have to pull your scrotum up over the top of your jeans without undoing them. All the way up and over. Oh, the horror of it all... You have to bring your cock back around and stick it through... Your cock has to go around the bend in a sort of semi fruit basket and then, well, then youā€™re fucked. You pull your testicles out over the top and leave them just resting there. Thatā€™s a Texas Belt Buckle.ā€

I struggle to visualize the end result of twisting oneā€™s balls and scrotum into a jumble, but there ya go.


Anyway, as for the Heard allegations, Depp explains that the viral 2016 TMZ video in which heā€™s shown yelling, slamming cabinets, pouring a large glass of wine and throwing the camera was him reacting to news that heā€™d lost millions of dollarsā€“adding that all of the sad depictions of him as an abuser with serious financial woes have turned him, in Hollywood, from a ā€œCinderella into a Quasimodo.ā€


Cardi Bā€™s sworn enemies, the sisters Baddie Gi and Jade, claim that they were fired from their bartending jobs at Angels Strip Club in Queens for filing a police report alleging that Cardi B threw a hookah and glasses at them. Cardi B believes that Jade slept with Offset, a charge Jade denies. Cardi B has been reportedly charged with two counts of reckless endangerment and one count of third-degree assault and has turned herself into the police.


[Page Six]

And then Cardi B went to Barneyā€™s in a bathrobe and $1090 mink fur Louis Vuitton slippers.


As she does.

[Page Six]

  • Anna Faris posted and then quickly deleted a photo which commenters shamed her for looking very thin. [TMZ]
  • Bradley Cooper cast his real life dog, who looks like a very good dog, in A Star Is Born, and I am going to land on this to forget all of the above. [People]