Pippa Middleton, sister to the Duchess of Cambridge, is officially engaged to boyfriend and hedge fund manager James Matthews. This wedding is exciting in the same way you’d anticipate the lavishly shot photos from the elaborate nuptials of the richest girl from your high school.
The Daily Mail broke the news in a tremendously detailed story, painting the picture:
Heads down against the breeze that blows across the peaks of the Lake District on the sunniest of days, the couple had their eyes on a distant hill.
Like other weekend walkers out on the fells last Saturday, Pippa Middleton and her boyfriend James Matthews paused to enjoy the magnificent views from the summit and to catch their breath.
But as Pippa took in the scenery, her romantic beau was dropping to his knees and preparing an even more spectacular sight – drawing out a stunning diamond ring from deep within a pocket.
Kneeling before her James asked Pippa to marry him. And within a moment she said ‘yes’ and suddenly Britain’s most eligible young woman was off the market.
This romantic scene is followed by a series of pictures with captions such as, “Newly engaged Pippa Middleton flashed the massive rock as she left her home in London this morning.” And for your information, while James is a hedge funder, “for several years he could have pursued an altogether different career - as a racing driver. As a schoolboy James was one of Britain’s most promising young drivers, achieving acclaim on the formula Renault circuit.”
US Weekly reports that the couple have confirmed the news.
Spare a thought today for the British tabloids, faced with perhaps the least dysfunctional generation of royals in centuries and one less royal-affiliated singleton about whom to speculate. Though the Daily Mail hints at a little hay potentially to be made with this line: “Their marriage will not just cement Matthews into the wider family circle that William and Kate have established, it will also link them to the celebrity world inhabited by James’s brother Spencer, the coke-snorting louche lothario of reality TV show Made In Chelsea.” Oh, boy.