Phoebe Waller-Bridge Is Isolating With a Wall of Penises

Illustration for article titled Phoebe Waller-Bridge Is Isolating With a Wall of Penises
Image: via Getty

Phoebe Waller-Bridge is social distancing like the rest of us, holed up in her London home with naught but her sister and a wall of penises. The penises are made of plaster, but they are penises nonetheless.

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The penis wall is actually a prop from the first season of Fleabag—the Stepmother makes casts of her lovers’ dicks, Fleabag’s father’s included—and it’s temporarily living with Waller-Bridge until she’s allowed back into her office and can turn it into a nice hat rack. For now, as she told Graham Norton, the penises are chilling at the entrance, erect and at the ready to greet any visitors.

“They’re all here, keeping me company,” she said. “This is who welcomes people when they come through the door.”

Though Waller-Bridge probably shouldn’t have many people come through the door right now, apparently the penises did shock a delivery person at some point. “He kind of had to bring something in and he was kind of knocking against the cocks as he was coming in,” she said. “I suddenly saw them again for the first time in ages and I just went, ‘Oh god, I’m so sorry.’ And he just looked me dead in the eye and was like, ‘It’s art. Never apologize for art.’”

True!

On the one hand, I am not sure I would want to live in a house with a plaster cast of my father’s penis, fictional or otherwise. On the other hand, as a single person isolating with no visible penises, I am almost envious. Please do not email me about this.

Night blogger, author of GOOD THINGS HAPPEN TO PEOPLE YOU HATE.

DISCUSSION

Don’t you know better than to say that Rebecca? That’s just asking for it!

(A friend of mine’s wife organized just about every woman he knows to text him boob-flash pics for his birthday a few years back. Most of them still do it every year. I told her she’s doing it wrong, and she should have them all text him dick pics instead. You know they all have some, asked for or not. She got this blank look on her face for a few seconds, then it gradually turned into a grin. He flipped me off and said “Thanks, Doug.”  His birthday is in June.  🤜🤛 Squad goal achieved!)