Stop Everything! The First Photos of Pete Davidson and Emily Ratajkowski Are Here.

In the Hollywood PR machine match-up so inevitable there are likely cave drawings and hieroglyphics predicting it, Pete Davidson and Emily Ratajkowski now appear to be an item. She’s the paradigm of conventional perfection. He’s been known to pack a 9-inch dong. What more can I say?

Rumors of this written-in-the-stars romance were reported earlier this week, but if you followed the model’s alleged dalliance with Brad Pitt as closely as Jezebel did, you may have been skeptical. However, on Wednesday night, Ratajkowsi and Davidson, kindly confirmed that they’re at least something—and Page Six was conveniently there to capture it all!

In a series of photos (and a video) that show the pair rendezvousing for Davidson’s birthday, they beam at each other and share a sweet embrace, while wearing matching outfits: nearly identical black puffer jackets and gray sweatpants. You can chalk that sartorial choice up to a comfortable coincidence all you want, but because I know there is no more revelatory trouser for a man than a pair of gray joggers, I’m calling it Davidson’s enticing confirmation that whatever is behind that elastic waistband is worth faking a laugh or three while he workshops new material. That, folks, is the real gray sweatpants challenge, and I wish Ratajkowski luck.

Back to business! According to Page Six’s timeline, Davidson drove up to Ratajkowski’s West Village apartment, but when the model (and newly minted podcaster) met the comedian outside, they were swarmed by waiting paparazzi. How serendipitous! Soon after, Davidson departed, and Ratajkowski (holding a birthday present) hopped into an Uber bound for Brooklyn, where more paparazzi were posted outside of his apartment. No seemingly innocuous date in world history (not even my 2010 homecoming) has ever been more documented than this one. They hugged and then went inside the building, which is, coincidentally, the only thing that happened at my 2010 homecoming.

Apparently, these two have been “talking for months” even as Ratajkowski was reportedly seeing Pitt and that other guy…DJ Orzo or whatever. Davidson, however, seems to be the pick of the reformed “pick-me girl.” And honestly? As obvious as it is, I don’t hate it! Howard Stern might be worried, but I’m kind of excited to see where this goes.

Now, down to what’s truly important here: their couple nickname. Davikowski? Ratason? Emete? Pemily? Yikes.

• Speaking of couple debuts: Brad Pitt was spotted hanging out with a 29-year-old nutritionist who “works in the jewelry business” aka every third woman in the greater Los Angeles area. [US Weekly]
• Jenna Bush Hager revealed that she never wears underwear, and being forcefully subjected to that information feels akin to one of her dad’s war crimes. [Hollywood Life]
• According to legal documents, Marilyn Manson is “anxious, distraught, depressed, worried, frantic, and sleepless.” Good! [Daily Mail]
• Brendan Fraser is notably not a hypocrite, but he is one Elizabeth Hurley’s favorite costars, and the only man in Hollywood—perhaps even the world—that I’d ever hang out with. [People]
• Julia Fox on the “loved one” who took a machete (!) to the Birkin Bag Kanye West gave her: “I don’t want to snitch because we’re still friends.” [E! Online]
• New Real Housewife of New York Lizzy Savetsky is out after antisemitic threats. [Deadline]