Illustration for article titled Personally, I Would Like to Wash My Hands of These Celebrity PSAs
Screenshot: Twitter

It feels like only yesterday (devastatingly, because it was) that a group of celebrities were joining together to instruct the public on how to effectively wash their hands. The stars of Contagion, a film you might have heard about with more frequency recently, Kate Winslet, Laurence Fishburne, Matt Damon, and Jennifer Ehle all got together, separately, and offered up their sage wisdom regarding how to care for yourself and others in the face of the coronavirus outbreak.

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Not to be outdone, the stars of HBO’s Watchmen also released their own PSA, rebranding as, paused for exasperated exhale, the Washmen, here to tell you, you guessed it, how to wash your hands. If there’s any silver lining to be found in this slate of hygienic how-tos, it’s that as opposed to four separate multi-minute monologues, the Washmen manage to get their message across in just one video that is shorter than any of the individual videos released by the Contagion cast. Let’s celebrate that, okay.

Where the Washmen video falls apart for me, aside from the fact that I didn’t particularly want to push play to begin with, is that it looks like several of them aren’t even following the guidelines that have been recommended by public health professionals for weeks now. One of them doesn’t appear to be using any water after pumping a few squirts of liquid soap onto his dry hands, and the video ends with one of the Washmen straight up touching his face, literally sticking his finger directly in his eye, before signing off.

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I’m not going to lie, I’ve never seen Watchmen, mainly because I have a subconscious aversion to engaging with anything while it’s popular, instead preferring to watch it several years later and then bring it up at a dinner party like I’m the first person to discover it. So, outside of Regina King and Jean Smart, I have no idea who the rest of these people are. As such, I can’t tell you which ones the offenders are specifically, and I do not plan to learn as I feel as though I know too much about them already, but you can watch it for yourself and figure it out.

I’ve been told Watchmen is not returning for a second season, seemingly heeding the advice Big Little Lies failed to follow, and given that information perhaps we could have done without this PSA as well. It’s funny enough, but it’s not so entertaining that we couldn’t have gone on without it. If celebrities are going to insist on being involved in the public discourse about covid-19, I would prefer they all just stick to going live on Instagram so that way I can mute them and carry on with my day.

Weekends at Jezebel, freelance writer living in San Francisco. Please clap.

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