Keeping with her reputation as a sleeper cell of chaos, Courtney Love emerged last weekend to sow havoc on a bougie restaurant with her agent of turmoil, a small, poorly behaved Pomeranian. (Of course Love has the baddest of Bad Dog breeds.)
The anecdote comes from Bryan Safi, an actor on Fox’s 9-1-1, who was dining along with Love at the aptly named “The Butcher, The Baker, The Cappuccino Maker,” last Sunday, and recounted the incident on his podcast.
“This dog is just a little Pomeranian, screaming, screaming, screaming, screaming, the whole time. She can’t keep track of it,” Safi said on his podcast, “Throwing Shade,” at first refusing to name Love. “The dog is running everywhere. [It’s] running on her lap … It gets caught on a heat lamp, the base of one… [it] chokes itself around it. She’s like, ‘I don’t know,’ and puts the dog on the table.”
We could end on this classic bit of wackiness if Love didn’t calm her dog by maybe poisoning it??! According to Safi, Love asked a server for some sugar and it all went downhill:
They bring over the container where the, like, all the, like, Equal and Sweet’N Low and Stevia and all that stuff is. She dumps the whole … turns it over! Dumps the whole thing on the table, fills the cup with water, opens the sugar packets and starts feeding it to the dog with the water.”
The fake sweetener is important evidence. As Page Six points out, xylitol, a common ingredient in products like Equal and Sweet’N Low, can cause seizures, liver failure, and painful death in dogs. And a reminder that Love supposedly has a long history of killing pets: Frances Bean Cobain filed court documents alleging that Love killed a family cat and severely injured a family dog when the animals consumed prescription pills left strewn about the home.
Someone rescue this Pomeranian!!! Thoughts and prayers to the family.
Home renovations are a nightmare money pit, even if you’re a royal, apparently. Though Meghan Markle and Prince Harry have already spent approximately $3 million converting Frogmore Cottage into a family friendly abode, turns out that’s not enough money to gussy up a drafty castle to a home fit for Archie. The pair is planning on installing new windows and doors and launching an large scale landscaping project, according to the Daily Express:
They also want to undertake work on an outbuilding, install lighting in the garden and carry out landscaping in the house’s extensive grounds.
Yet, in a dispatch from Royals Are Not Like Us, a chunk of the budget for these renovations will come from the Sovereign Grant, a kind of a taxpayer funded welfare for wealthy royals. No word on how much the second round of renovation is slated to cost, but hopefully they’re familiar with the story of Marie Antoinette, and stop upgrading before they hit the punch line.
I have never seen the show The 100, which, according to Google, is about the trials and tribulations of a group of apocalypse survivors, living on orbiting space stations. (Sexy!) But people seem pretty excited that show’s costars Eliza Taylor and Bob Morley have married—an especially shocking announcement since no one knew they were dating.
“Recently I married my best friend and soul mate @WildpipM,” Taylor announced in a tweet. “We are very happy and ask that you keep your comments kind and respect our privacy at this time.”
Respect the sanctity of this perfectly engineered Tweet and leave them be, please.
- Less dramatic nuptial news: Star Wars star Daisy Ridley was spotted sporting some kind of ring with beau Tom Bateman. [Daily Mail]
- Rihanna followed her entrance at the top of Forbes’ list of richest musicians (she’s worth $600 million) like a motherfucking boss, in a hot swimsuit, with billionaire BF Hassan Jameel, on a yacht in Italy’s Amalfi Coast. [TMZ]
- Bradley Cooper has split up with supermodel wife Irina Shayk, in a timeless story of busy lives that drifted apart.[People]