Perhaps the 'Flirtatious Anal Dildo For Cock Hungry Blonde Slut' Is Just Passionate About Transit

Illustration for article titled Perhaps the Flirtatious Anal Dildo For Cock Hungry Blonde Slut Is Just Passionate About Transit
Graphic: Jezebel (Getty Images)

Picture it: You’re commuting back to the city after visiting your parents in Westchester County. You Google the closest Metro-North station, as one does, and expect to find some information about arrival times and the like. But instead, you’re thrown off by the second search result: The station name accompanied by “Flirtatious Anal Dildo For Cock Hungry Blonde Slut.”

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The Queens Eagle reports that at least 16 Metro-North stations contain this incredibly porny phrase, and it’s tickling commuters.

“Any idea what’s going on here? LOL,” a man tweeted Sunday evening. Attached was a video of himself Googling the Waterbury Metro-North station in Connecticut. After the ordinary transit info came the second search result: “Waterbury - Flirtatious Anal Dildo For Cock Hungry Blonde Slut - MTA.”

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The Metro-North Twitter account responded to the tweet, writing, “Thanks for alerting us! We have passed along your tweet so it can be fixed as soon as we can.

On Monday afternoon I decided to take a look for myself, curious if the problem had been fixed. I Googled “Ossining Metro North Station” and, to my delight, the porn link is still there:

Illustration for article titled Perhaps the Flirtatious Anal Dildo For Cock Hungry Blonde Slut Is Just Passionate About Transit
Screenshot: Google
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The Metropolitan Transit Authority claims that the problem is not on their end, but rather Google’s.

From the Queens Eagle:

Though website titles and descriptions are typically crafted by individual website managers, problems can arise on the search engine’s end, too.

“This is offensive and inappropriate language that is being generated by a Google search algorithm,” an MTA spokesperson said. “There is no issue with the MTA’s website. We reached out to Google yesterday to ask them to fix this immediately. Google needs to fix this now.”

The spokesperson directed questions to Google Monday morning. Google did not immediately respond to an email seeking comment.

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Maybe the MTA is too quick to villainize the “flirtatious anal dildo for cock hungry blonde slut.” Perhaps she’s just worried about the state of the MTA. Maybe she misses Andy Byford, the MTA’s incredibly competent former subway chief who was bullied out of his position by New York Governor Andrew Cuomo, a man who notoriously doesn’t give a shit about public transit. Or maybe we just need to acknowledge that anal dildo loving cock hungry blondes care about America’s crumbling infrastructure and embarrassing approach toward public transit just like the Numtots do.

Justice for the dildo cock hungry blondes of the MTA. They cum in peace.

Staff writer, mint chocolate hater.

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DISCUSSION

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Call me old fashioned, but we’re usually well past the flirtatious part of the encounter by the time the anal dildo gets fired up.