Peeps, those chick and rabbit shaped blobs of sugar, corn syrup and gelatin that are stale from the moment you open the box, are having a hell of a year. Not only is the candy celebrating its 60th birthday, but 2012 happened to be the best financial year for Just Born, Inc, the company that creates Peeps — as well as Mike & Ike and Peanut Chews — thanks primarily to the Easter candy.
Why? Because people are actually eating Peeps? No, because people are using Peeps for a wide variety of things that have nothing to do with eating like creating dioramas, using them as toys or microwaving their little bird bodies until they explode. Ross Born, the third generation operator of Just Born, Inc, is pretty fucking stoked about it, telling the AP:
"Everyone seems to have a Peeps story...And they are free and willing to talk about how they eat their Peeps, how they cure them, how they store them, how they decorate with them. And these are adults!"
The company has also coined the phrase "Peepsonality" to describe those who buy Peeps to play with as well as eat. Let's try it out in a few sentences: "What a crazy Peepsonality!" "She's beautiful on the outside, but her Peepsonality is ugly and selfish." Or "What I was the most sexually attracted to when I met my husband Dylan was his beautiful Peepsonality. Also, we both have sex with Peeps."
Guess what, guys? I'm just gonna say it. Peeps are gross. Disagree? COME AT ME, BRO — I'll be over here eating Reese' Peanut Butter Eggs like a person with TASTES.