Paul Ryan Seems a Lot Like the Boy-Next-Door Killer in a Lifetime Movie

Illustration for article titled Paul Ryan Seems a Lot Like the Boy-Next-Door Killer in a Lifetime Movie

Arianna Huffington came to the Weekend Update to critique Martha Raddatz's debate moderation, elucidate the mysteries of the vagina, and talk about Joe Biden's more feminine qualities . She also made some choice observations about Paul Ryan, whom she described as the handsome, moneyed golden boy that impresses parents but all the while maintains an extensive collection of human hair in his basement.

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Today was such a lovely surprise! The plans I had to go on a trip to an apple orchard and pumpkin patch fell through today unexpectedly due to the bus for the tour breaking down. Since I was up early anyway and all dressed and packed, I decided to go to the Met, and it was amazing. On my way I lingered at a cute cafe over a yummy Bloody Mary with goat-cheese stuffed olives and complimentary warm bread and tapenade. Spent hours and hours lingering at the museum and saw this lovely woman in real life. Her skin was so exquisitely painted it looked as if she might actually be breathing. So, so pale, but flushed in all the right, human places. (Fun fact: John Singer Sargent originally painted her left strap coming off the shoulder, but it was deemed to risque.) On my stop for lunch in the cafeteria, an older lady in front of me asked if she could get half a sandwich. She was told no. And then I said, "You know, I was just thinking I'd like half a sandwich too." So we split one and ate lunch together! She was so lovely and it turns out she's a grandmother in her 70s with her masters in library science who used to do research for people who sold antiquated books. As a researcher myself, I squee'd. She's also quite well off, born and bred in New York and now lives on the Upper East Side. She insisted on giving me her phone and address so that I could come and visit her sometime for coffee. In retrospect, I'm glad my bus broke down!