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Picture it: The ghost of Elizabeth Taylor is talking Michael Jackson’s dead ear off about how there’s no market for perfume in heaven, and even if there were it’s not like diamonds of any color mean much to anyone ensconced in paradise, while David Gest sits nearby, quietly styling the luscious, human hair of the most beautiful Shirley Temple doll you can imagine. “Uh Liz,” murmurs MJ. “I’m sorry to interrupt. I have to take care of something.”

Michael Jackson then reaches his invisible, sequined hand down to earth and squarely bops Wendy Williams on the head, causing her to pass out on live television. MJ, an entertainer down to his soul, knows this will cause a great stir. His message of vengeance will become the caress heard around the world.

This scenario, at least, is what a tweet from Jackson’s daughter Paris prompted me to envision:

The original tweet this was in response to was one from Williams alluding to reports that Paris’s grandmother, Katherine Jackson, has filed documents to cease being the guardian of Paris’s younger brother, Blanket.

And Page Six points out that Paris Jackson’s beef with Wendy Williams goes back even further:

In January, Williams remarked that Jackson didn’t deserve her Rolling Stone cover.

“She’s beautiful, she’s been through a lot … [but] she has not made her mark on her own. You cannot be on the cover of one of the most prestigious entertainment and influential magazines in the world and just be ‘the daughter of’ and tell your story inside,” the former DJ griped during a “Hot Topics” segment.

Williams added, “I get that she considers herself black and everything, but I’m just talking about the visual because you know … black is not what you call yourself, it’s what the cops see when they got steel to your neck on the turnpike … But that’s cute, and good for her.”

At the time, Jackson wasn’t as belligerent, responding on Twitter, “She seems to think about the family a lot considering she makes all these claims about us. Why are we on her mind so often?” Jackson added of her racial identity, “Well, she didn’t birth me so.”

I don’t know, though. MJ seemed way too gentle for such violence, even that which is from beyond the grave and jokingly conjured. I’d expect it way more from the spirit of Whitney Houston, who had similar beef with Williams’s fixations and went out of her way to express her disdain for it. But what do I know? The guy was Paris’s dad, not mine.