Source photos via Getty, Shutterstock. Image by Bobby Finger.

Paris Hilton is tweeting from Burning Man. Below is an imagined retelling of her experience as a citizen of Black Rock City.

BLACK ROCK CITY, NEVADA—Paris stretches her back, pushing her chest toward Poppy’s. Her mouth is dry, her hands caked with dust. A feather from Barron’s Native American headdress tickles her ear. A few hundred feet away, a woman is offering free spankings. “Gross,” she thinks, then raises her selfie stick.

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