Paging Suri: "Museum-Quality" Princess Gowns Now Available

Illustration for article titled Paging Suri: Museum-Quality Princess Gowns Now Available

For $1,600-$1,900, Cinderella Bespoke will consult with you to design a gown in whatever style, fabric, and size your little princess wants. Not that she'll be wearing it: "The products are museum quality dresses and are not toys."

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"We also make perfect replicas of the first tricycle (1680) that cannot be ridden, an extraordinarily precise and soft "Teddy's Bear" that cannot be touched - and while you wait for your luxury items, feel free to stare longingly at the first-ever created ATARI system, loaded with Pong, that you cannot even breathe near.

Also, on the way out, we will punch your child in the face.

Enjoy your purchases!"