Oreo's Weird New Commercial Will Lull You Into a Twee Coma

The scene: You’re at home on your couch, watching Mad Men, bathing in a commercial coma pattern of luxury car/Christina Hendricks’ Johnnie Walker whiskey/luxury car when BOOM: the most horrendous noise fills the air. You sit up, shocked because…could it be…no…are those the decidedly un-dulcet tones of the one-man band Owl City?

Oreo has handled turning 100 with grace, demonstrating that there’s still some fight in this old cookie yet; the New York Times draws attention in particular to their fast-thinking during the Super Bowl blackout, creating a quick ad that went viral. So why why why was it necessary to follow up stuff that’s actually cute with this new thing that is so cloying it makes one want to do something drastic, like take all the Oreos in the house and shove them in your ears to stop the noise.

Oh yeah and besides the song, the plot is bizarre too:

“One spot, which runs 90 seconds, asks if unpleasant characters like a TV vampire would be transformed for the better if someone shared Oreos with them.

Would the vampire ‘not act so undead?’ the singing narrator in the spot asks. ‘Would he thirst for milk instead?’

The other commercial, 30 seconds long, asks what would happen if ‘I gave an Oreo to somebody out there who I didn’t know.’ The narrator wonders, ‘Would they laugh after I’d gone, or would they pass that wonder on?'”

(I’ve watched this commercial multiple times while writing this post and I’m sad to say that after the 100th or so viewing it starts to maybe get kind of catchy and become uplifting? This thing is brainwashing at its finest.)