I honestly love New Year’s Eve. I’ll take any opportunity to wear a (faux) fur coat, throw on a lot of glitter (while I can), drink champagne and eventually vodka out of a fluted glass, and smoke a cigarette out of a foot long Cruella Deville-esque filter. To be honest, I’d do all of those things on any given Tuesday night, but people really give me a pass on New Year’s Eve, especially with the glitter.

However, if there’s one part of New Year’s Eve culture I absolutely cannot stand, it’s those damn glasses with the lenses in the 0s. Or worse, the lenses where there isn’t even a space to accommodate a lens. I mean, there are just so many gaudy accessories available, it seems like a real cop-out to go for the glasses. Especially, when they look like this.

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Illustration for article titled Open Thread: I Will Kiss Anyone Not Wearing These 2020 Glasses Tonight

I mean my God, there are literally two fucking zeros in the number! You could have just put them right in the 0s, but no, that would have just made too much sense. If you’ll excuse me, in light of this recent discovery I will need to commence champagne consumption an hour earlier than I’d previously planned. Is everyone else already celebrating?

freelance writer living in San Francisco. Please clap.

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