Oops, Britney Burned Down Her Gym

The short version of this story is that Britney Spears accidentally burned down her gym, a fact that she casually dropped into the introduction of a workout video she posted to Instagram. The long version is known only to her, and perhaps the firefighters that probably had to rush to her home to extinguish the flames.

What matters is that ever since I saw this video a few hours to go, I haven’t been able to stop singing some variation of the following. Please feel free to compose your own, better version in the comments.

Oops, I burned down my gym

I lit some candles, and lost track of time

Oh baby, baby

Oops, I thought they were out

Without a doubt

It’s not that big a deal

I wanted it gone, without evidence

Oh baby, baby

Oops, I blamed my candles

To avoid a scandal

I’ll never stretch again

I played with some fire, got lost in the flame,

Oh baby, baby

Oops, I love how it burns

For the heat my heart yearns

It wasn’t an accident