"One Of My Biggest Pet Peeves Is A Girl Who Is Not Probably Groomed On All Parts Of Her Body"

Illustration for article titled "One Of My Biggest Pet Peeves Is A Girl Who Is Not Probably Groomed On All Parts Of Her Body"

We've ignored Arthur Kade and let Gawker deal with his bullshit, but in a recent "Grooming" post he writes: "If you are a hot girl, then it is imperative that everything is shaved."


Actually, the post begins: "One of my biggest pet peeves is a girl who is not probably groomed on all parts of her body." Dude. You mean "properly." Right? Stop looking at yourself in the mirror and get an education.

The "Philly fameball" continues:

If you are a hot girl, then it is imperative that everything is shaved, or clean to the point that there is minimal hair. I have had many experiences with beautiful women where they have been amazing looking (especially Internationally), but upon further investigation they are not properly groomed, and I have actually stopped in the middle of the act. One of the many things I notice on a girl while talking to them, and figuring out whether I am going to have them is their: nails, hair, make-up, and skin, and this will many times separate girls who are hot (8's and 9's) from girls who I want to take it to the next level with that night (10's). I remember once going home with a girl from Bungalow 8 in NYC who was a 10, and when I saw her naked and ungroomed, I became so disgusted that I asked her to leave my apartment, and when she said "What's wrong?" I told her, "I am not into the hair thing". She told me she hadn't been with anyone in 2 months, and wasn't planning on anything that night, so I decided to let her stay over. That next weekend when we hung out she was totally shaved.

Just FYI, according to the "Kade Scale", Megan Fox and Gisele Bundchen are 10s; Halle Berry is an 8 "a cute girl, but not date-worthy" and Salma Hayek is a 7 ("cute and somewhat sexy, but not someone that I would date.")

Friends, this is a sad, sad day in America. On the planet Earth, even. Because no matter how far we have come — I mean, we kind of almost had a female president of the United States, right? — there will always be shallow, narcissistic dudes who think that porn stars and Victoria's Secret models are illustrative examples of what it means to be a woman. Hair has nothing to do with a woman's "cleanliness" or hotness, IT MEANS THAT SHE HAS HIT PUBERTY and is no longer a child. How do these people exist? How can you, in this day and age, assign a number to a woman and judge her on her appearance and pubes? What kind of family raises a son who would write this:

The woman taking my blood at Quest Diagnostics had a visible mustache. I actually felt uncomfortable having her take my blood because of this, and I contemplated mentioning to her that I wanted a new nurse.

Seriously? Too bad he didn't suddenly pass out or suffer heart failure and require MOUTH TO MOUTH resuscitation from her. Because if there is a God, surely she would smite you for bodysnarking a fucking medical professional.

Grooming [ArthurKade.com]


Little Green Frog

The gems on this blog!

Title of the blog: "Arthur Kade: My Journey to Stardom"

Regarding the nurse with the mustache: She was also very mean to me when I told her that "I hate needles" and she said, "I don't care sonny, you came here to get this done so be quiet".

About his appearance: I can't wait to see myself when I star in a feature film.

His scale: 6 and under-Don't bother. Not worth listing or discussing. Not even friend or date worthy.

He did try, but forgot to use spell checking in his Bio: I am an extremely motivated and passionate person who trys(sic) to excel at everything that I do

More bio. Also, please refer to his "scale" above: ...my grandmother who taught me the value of being a good person and no matter what treating people with respect and dignity.

Yet more: I am not the average peron(sic) who is liked by everyone

OK, last one because it's getting old: Every time I am on the set of a movie or television show, I can see the casting directors and Production Assistants's looking at me like I have a "star" quality, and I know that there will be a point that I get the opportunity to deliver some lines and get a "featured role".

PS: he fixed the "probably" :-(