One Million Moms Thinks the New Muppets Seem Way Too Down to Fuck

The perpetually outraged anti-gay, anti-fun group One Million Moms has returned from the swoon they fell into upon seeing a yogurt ad with lesbians in it, and they wish to warn you, the concerned parents of America, that the Muppets are no longer what they seem. They’re sexier. They’re having sex.

The American Family Association’s ladies auxiliary is launching a campaign against the new Muppets show, saying it’s no longer “family-friendly” and “not suitable for family viewing.” From the Moms’ always delightful “action alerts:”

“It’s sort of an adult Muppet show,” Kermit the Frog said during a promotional video for the show. One ad read, “Finally, a network TV show with full frontal nudity.” Technically, the advertisement is correct – seeing how Kermit doesn’t wear pants.

The mature version of “The Muppets” will cover a range of topics from sex to drugs. Miss Piggy came out as a pro-choice feminist during an MSNBC interview. The puppet characters loved by kids in the 1970s and 1980s and beyond are now weighing in on abortion and promiscuity.

ABC hopes children watch the show and predict they would enjoy some of the humor, but 1MM would disagree. It is not the show it once was. ABC has ruined “The Muppets.” How many parents want to explain the punchline of sexually charged jokes to young children?

Many parents unknowingly will let their children watch an episode only to find out its perverted nature too late, unless they are alerted ahead of time. 1MM and others need to get the word out to families to avoid this program at all costs.

The Moms appear to be deriving much of their outrage from this video, which shows, among other things, homewrecker Denise eyeing Kermit like she’d like to nibble his hindquarters, Miss Piggy lustily making out with Topher Grace, and Fozzie Bear’s new girlfriend’s parents chiding her for “being intimate” with wildlife:

And actually, it’s worth noting that this time around, the Moms aren’t the only ones complaining about the F-U-C-K-I-N’—several non-nuts TV critics have also commented that the show’s new emphasis on romantic relationships, especially the Muppet-human variety, is kinda weird.

There are a variety of reactions here for parents, of course. Watch the show and decide for yourself if it’s kid-friendly, don’t watch the show, because it looks sort of meh, or plant your kids in front of whatever and assume they’ll turn out fine, because most kids generally do. Or go the One Million Moms route and demand the thing be cancelled before it even airs, because it is, somehow, offensive before the eyes of God. There’s also that.

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