I have neglected the skin on my face my entire life. Aside from trying various acne treatments when I was a zit-riddled teen, I’ve effectively paid little attention to it. This wasn’t done out of altruism or a lack of human vanity, but rather out of sheer laziness. I was terrible about using SPF, and for years my skincare regime has consisted entirely of splashing water on my face. That’s it. No soap. Just rubbing water on my face then drying it off with a no-name towel I bought at Ross.
You may not be surprised to hear that my face gradually started looking more and more like a catcher’s glove. But what was responsible for this, exactly? Was it simply the fact that I am careening toward 40 and spend a lot of time outdoors? Or was it because I’d eschewed a proper skincare routine for the free stuff that magically comes out of my faucet? I thought an experiment was in order. I wanted to see if a hardcore, three-month skincare regimen could counteract a lifetime of dermatological ambivalence.
Let me state right away that this is not what scientists call, “good science.” We’re talking about a sample size of exactly one human being, but I make a somewhat unique test subject because, well, do you remember that Jodie Foster movie Nell, wherein the titular character is a woman who had essentially raised herself in the woods without any human contact? Well, for this experiment, “society” is skin-care products, and “Nell” is my face.
What I mean is that this should give us a pretty good look at what happens when you diligently use an expensive skincare system versus using a control substance, i.e. water. I knew this would represent a lifestyle change for me, so I wanted to keep it as simple as possible and just use one brand’s system. I had already received several pitches from the California-based company Biossance, so, I asked representatives from the company if they could fix my face. (I absolutely was not paid by the company for this experiment which I embarked on entirely alone, accompanied only by hope.) Wrinkles were accruing around my eyes and forehead, more discoloration spots were appearing, and I had some red blotchiness on my nose. They took a quick look and said they could come up with an intensive routine. Six steps in the morning, six steps at night, for 90 days.
It’s worth quickly explaining my current skincare routine, if it can be called that. I use only water, nothing else. About 10 years ago I read about the “no poo” movement, and the soap-free movement that went with it. I decided to try it, and while that experiment is a story for another day, the relevant bit is that I really liked just using water for cleaning my face. If my skin is oily one day, then I’ll wash a bit longer with warmer water. If it’s dry, then I’ll use cooler water. That’s seemed to keep things pretty-well balanced for the last decade.
Oh, and it’s worth noting that I am a cis white guy (apologies). I bring this up because the skincare industrial complex’s marketing machine isn’t aimed at me. It’s likely that I went so long without a skincare routine, in part, because my eyeballs aren’t constantly bludgeoned with messaging informing me that I am stupid/bad/crazy/ugly for not buying these products. They tell me to buy dandruff shampoo, gray-in-beard-hiding dye, and body washes that will make women want to wrestle alligators for me, and that’s about it. It’s a different experience and my experiment didn’t come with the pressures about age and appearance that women certainly face. Nor did it come with the costs of doing this over a lifetime.
My skincare routine arrived in a gigantic box, and consisted of the following items:
Nighttime:
ANTIOXIDANT CLEANSING OIL
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