Once Again, Please Do Not Put 'Detox Pearls' in Your Vagina

A class action lawsuit says a “vaginal detox” company deceptively advertised that its products would not only clean your incurably gross vagina, but also increase fertility and purge your body of your ex, among other wonders.

The suit, filed in Florida (where else) claims that advertising for Goddess Detox’s vaginal suppositories misled women into thinking that the suppository “pearls” are not only necessary from a hygiene perspective, but perform all sorts of other unlikely witchcraft as well, including encouraging “blood flow and energy movement” in the uterus, improving vaginal tightness, promoting fertility, detoxing an ex, regulating menstrual cycles and increasing libido.

As healthcare professionals have said time and time again: The vagina is self-cleaning, and stuffing it with herbal balls will inevitably do more harm than good. The Florida lawsuit says that marketing detox pearls for disease treatment is illegal in the U.S., since it’s not approved by the FDA. Furthermore, borneol, one of the herbs in the ingredient list, is not definitively safe for internal use. Sales of Goddess Detox products have already been banned in Canada.

“The product’s labeling, marketing and advertising contained on the packaging and on defendant’s website are false, deceptive and misleading because the product is not safe and because the product cannot provide the claimed benefits,” the lawsuit says.

No matter who wins this case, there remains one very important takeaway: Don’t put herbs in your vagina! Please!