Illustration for article titled On Killing Grandmas
Illustration: Wellcome Collection

On Wednesday, Twitter-famous stay-at-home mom Bethany S. Mandel wrote that we could “call [her] a grandma killer,” but she would not be kept from museums, zoos, restaurants, or dentists simply because going to those places could be deadly.

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In light of that permission, call her a grandma killer we did. Here is a list of headlines the Jezebel staff brainstormed in Slack, but did not use:

  • Self-Styled Grandma Killer Not That Great at Staying at Home After All
  • Will No One Think of the Dentists?
  • Grandmas? Not Under Local Woman’s Watch!
  • Of Course Your Grandma Got Killed by Someone Named “Bethany”
  • Meet the Woman Who Would Kill Your Grandma for a Trip to Applebees
  • What It Actually Means to Kill a Grandma
  • The Grandma Killer and Us
  • All Along, the Grandma Killer Was You
  • When Grandmas Are Killed
  • Who Is the Grandma Killer? Here’s Everything You Need to Know
  • What We Really Mean When We Say We Want to Kill Grandmas
  • What We Talk About When We Talk About Killing Grandmas
  • 10 Badass Ways to Kill a Grandma
  • The Staggering Disappointment of the Murderous Grandma
  • The Unbearable Anxiety of Killing a Grandma
  • All She Wanted a Trip to the Zoo. Even If It Meant Killing Grandmas.
  • In the Age of Coronavirus, Some Consider Killing Grandmas
  • Why Some Want to Kill Grandmas, and Others Don’t, Explained
  • What the Grandma Killer Says About Millennial Burnout
  • After Grandma Died, Some Experts Argue It Was Murder
  • Gender Parity in the Work of Killing Grandmas? Not So Fast, Say Some
  • Are We In the Golden Age of Grandma Killing?
  • Killing Grandmas Is Praxis
  • The Radical Gesture of Killing Grandmas
  • Grandma KILLER—Revealed!
  • This MOM Wants to Kill Your Grandma
  • The Gendered Anxiety of Killing Grandma
  • Here’s Why I Choose to Stay at Home AND Be a Grandma Killer
  • Killing My Grandma Triggered My Imposter Syndrome
  • I Killed My Grandma and I Won’t Apologize
  • Girl, Stop Apologizing for Killing Your Grandma
  • Sick SAHM Caught Chopping Down Grandma’s Coronavirus Cakes
  • The Emotional Labor of Killing Grandma
  • Ten Easy Ways to Kill Grandma At Home
  • Perhaps Grandma Always Deserved Death
  • This Was Always About Killing Grandmas
  • Why I Left New York: I Killed My Grandma
  • The Unbearable White Feminism of Killing Grandma
  • This One Trick (Killing Grandma) Will Make Your Man Go Nuts
  • All This Talk About Killing Grandmas, But What About Grandpas?
  • Killing Grandma But Not Grandpa Proves the Patriarchy Is Alive and Well in America

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