OMG We Are Getting '50 Shades Of Grey' Inspired Underwear

OK stop screaming and freaking out at the computer screen right now. I know everyone is super excited about the idea of getting their hands on underwear inspired by the greatest mass assembly of printed words ever, but let's keep cool heads here for a moment.

Author E.L. James, the George Eliot of fanfic-inspired novels, has reportedly teamed up with a Swedish manufacturer to gift the world with a line of underwear inspired by 50 Shades of Grey. In case you don't remember, 50 Shades of Grey is novel about how to properly prepare and eat a raspberry fruit tartlet. Or something.


According to The Mirror, James and retailer KappAhl have created bras, briefs for men, a "lacy black mask" and HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA a "grey tie."

Well if only 10 percent of the 70 million people who ponied up the coin to buy this book decide they need negligees inspired by whatsherface and whatshisname's sex romps, then yeah, I bet this line will do just great.

Some of you may be wondering why I have not remarked/commented on this astounding "video" above, released to promote the line. I'm just...letting that one sink in. Just letting it all sink in.


House Milkshaker of Daftbollocks

We are going to get 50 Shades of tea towel, 50 Shades of sunglasses, 50 shades of cushion covers, 50 shades of hilarious mugs for work places. And the bumper stickers alone will be the stuff of nightmares. And they will all use the term 'inner goddess'. All of them. Although this kind of stuff I can tolerate.

The only thing I can hope for is a nice bit of Jamie Dornan (looking like a cross between Robb Stark and Joel Kinnamon) in his knickers - so in the mean time. If only he keeps his Ulster accent (unlikely) for "Fivvie shyades ur Gryey". You are welcome.

And George Eliot ref!