Old Navy's Booty Reader Wants Pictures Of Your Ass

The folks at Old Navy swear that they’ve got the perfect jeans for your body shape. Hence: The “Booty Reader.” Like the love child of Miss Cleo and Sir Mix-A-Lot, she likes big butts and she cannot lie.

At first the idea that a brown-skinned mannequin would be reading derrieres was troubling: She’s black, so of course she knows about asses? But the microsite is actually kind of harmless unless you’re offended by fortune teller stereotypes.

Although. There is a function where you can either use your webcam or a camera and UPLOAD a picture of your booty, which is insanity. The text reads, “photos of your booty won’t be shared, my dear,” but you have to wonder: Where do they go? What tech dude has to file away jpegs of butts? Who worked on software built to “read” asses?!?!

Since we were not about to use our own caboose without knowing the answers to these questions, we nominated Ice T’s wife Coco Austin to participate in the fun.

We were told that her booty had been “successfully captured.”

Although, with the images we had to work with, Coco’s booty was not really aligned properly.

“I can’t quite make out your booty,” the fortune teller told us. We had to adjust some measurements, and the programming behind the software became clear: It’s all about waist to hip ratio. Duh.

In the end, we learned that Coco has a “curvaceous figure with a perky behind,” which will surely come as a shock. She should try the Diva Skinny jeans — a steal at $19! In fact: Some of us have managed to purchase them in the past, without sending a billion-dollar business a picture of our rump.