Oh No, It's Man Bangs

Remember the heady days (GET IT?) of 2009, when man bangs last allegedly swept (GET IT?) the nation? Well buckle up, because the BANGS ARE BACK IN TOWN, BABY. (I could have said “hair to stay,” but I think that would have been a little much and frankly, a lie.)

GQ has declared that bangs are back, but are they actually? The magazine cites three examples of our modern bang resurgence: Jared Leto, Justin Bieber and Post Malone, though only Malone is sporting what can accurately be termed a “fringe,” if we’re in Britain, which we’re not, so...bangs. The other two just have sort of long hair.

If GQ is correct in its prediction that 2017 is to be the Year of the Man Bang, we should first establish what, exactly, bangs are. Here’s a short quiz.

1. How many men pictured below have bangs?

A: Zero. While both men do indeed have hair, neither have bangs.

2. In this photo ONLY, does Justin Bieber have bangs?

A: No.

3. How about now?

A: No, see, it’s a different photo but it’s the same hair...I feel like I shouldn’t have to explain this.

4. How about NOW?

A: No. This is what’s known as a bang-comb over, or a “bombover.” Pretty cool right? WRONG. It’s also not bangs.

5. Is Andre Agassi’s forehead hair considered bangs?

A: Yes. Contrary to popular belief, a mullet and bangs are mutually exclusive. Andre Agassi most definitely has bangs. And a mullet. But mostly bangs.

6. Is this the most men with bangs ever to appear in one photo?

A: No. This is, but thanks to “copyright laws,” I can’t use that one.

And lastly, I found this. I don’t know what it is, but it’s hypnotic (and also, bangs):

I hope this has helped you understand.

Images via Getty, unless otherwise stated.