Octogenarian Crack Dealer Headed To Jail

Illustration for article titled Octogenarian Crack Dealer Headed To Jail

Ola Mae Agee was convicted of selling crack cocaine to an undercover cop last week. The 87-year-old had set up a drug business from her home in Pensacola, Florida.

According to The Smoking Gun, a jury found Ms. Agee guilty after just 20 minutes of deliberation. She's been sentenced to 18 months, so she'll probably celebrate her 89th birthday before being released. Although the headline at TSG calls Ms. Agee "America's oldest crack dealer," apparently, in 2004, a 96-year-old woman in North Carolina was busted for selling crack out of her home. Take this as a sign to reassess your retirement plan. Don't have one, you say? Exactly. Although it's interesting: Assuming Social Security checks don't cut it and financial burdens drove Ms. Agee to sling rock, isn't it ironic that she'll be getting health care and 3 meals a day after all?

America's Oldest Crack Dealer To Celebrate Her 89th Birthday In Prison [The Smoking Gun]

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Grandma got arrested as a crack dealer

Coming back from our house Christmas Eve

You may say you don't believe in drug busts

As for me and Grandpa, we believe.