Obligatory Royal Wedding Post Du Jour!

Illustration for article titled Obligatory Royal Wedding Post Du Jour!

Brides in Great Britain are worried, very worried! What if their wedding falls on the same day as the wedding between Prince Awesome and Future Princess Shinyhair?!


This is a very important thing, you see, because the day of your wedding is not about publicly declaring your love and lifetime commitment to someone you're crazy about; it's now about being a princess, and there's nothing more threatening to fake princesses than actual princesses getting married all over the place and pointing out how silly pretending to be a princess is.

The date hasn't been announced, but British brides-to-be who already have their dates are concerned William and Kate may pick theirs, says Majesty magazine Editor Ingrid Seward.

They're worried," Seward explained from London to "Early Show on Saturday Morning" co-anchor Chris Wragge, " … that it's going to scuttle their wedding plans, and they're not going to be the princess on that day, it's going to be Kate, and that all their wedding guests will want to watch the royal wedding and not be concentrating on the wedding they're at.

There are legitimate concerns on the part of brides-to-be besides not getting enough attention, like the logistical nightmare that a royal wedding would present to guests attempting to access central London, or the lack of availability of caterers for the event, or the difficult task of finding guest accommodations on the day of a high-security, high profile international spectacle. But the biggest worry, according to Seward?

"But I think the main worry is that your guests aren't going to be concentrating on you."

Really? First of all, British brides, if your friends care so much more about William and Kate than they do about you, their actual bride-friends, then why the fuck are they your friends? Secondly, how can you tell if your guests' minds are wandering? Maybe you could hire a psychic wedding bouncer to kick out everyone who dares think about anything besides your glorious countenance on Your Special Day. Whatever you do, make sure you don't lose focus on making everything all about you, ya' big Princess.

"Brit Brides Fred Over Royal Wedding Date" [CBS]

Image via Getty



Seriously though, having lived in Spain during their recent royal wedding (to a beautiful TV journalist commoner! gasp!) I kinda get it. The whole country went batshit and descended on Madrid: both the pro- and anti-royalists. It was *raining* and there were millions of people lining the streets who had all camped out on the road near my apartment, making it impossible to move. Bars were full of people watching the spectacle and analyzing all the order of arrival of foreign royals. Old women were stealing flowers that had been planted all over town so they could have a "wedding souvenir." When all the flowers were stolen, old women started stealing the DIRT (yes, I actually witnessed an old lady with a plastic baggie and a spoon, stealing the dirt.)

So with that level of public obsession and traffic clusterfuck, I wouldn't want to get married that day either. I wouldn't want to worry about the caterers off trying to watch the tv updates instead of serving (or even my mother, who's been known to get weepy about Diana.) We Amercians can't start to understand the crazy that comes out with royal weddings. I get it now and, given how much damn work is going into planning my damn wedding to make a nice time for my guests (because honestly, this stopped being my special perfect fucking day the moment I started taking care of guests' comfort/needs and decided to buy a $200 white dress to focus on tasty food, lots of booze, and family and joy over mortgaging my future) and how difficult logistics are without a traffic clusterfuck of royal insanity for anyone in the royal wedding region, I get it. I get it 100%. Despite not really having a bridezilla bone in my body, I really do hope that the freaking event finally goes off relatively smoothly and that people feel connected to our ceremony and day, instead of comparing it to the royal wedding happening at the same time.

Having said that, If I lived in the royal wedding region, I probably wouldn't change my wedding date, but I'd be resentful for the next month or so before I rationally got over it because the hassle of canceling/signing 7 new contracts would be too much.