NYC Soda Ban Starts Today But Rebellion Is in the Air

Illustration for article titled NYC Soda Ban Starts Today But Rebellion Is in the Air

Do you hear the people sing, singing the song of angry men? Can you hear the battle cries that tear through their corn syrup-coated throats as they say "no" and "never" to the tyrannical NYC soda ban that will soon go into effect and ruin our lives forever? While some weak consumers of beverages have already crumpled in the corner, turning belly-up to Mayor Bloomberg like a group of subservient dogs, others have grabbed their two liters, headed to the barricade and told their gods to ready for blood. And by blood, what I mean is a lot of whining and misplaced senses of persecution.

"I'm going to drink as many 20-ounce sodas as I can," says Greenpoint waitress JoAnn Mikulak, bravely telling the New York Times of her personal plans for the three-month grace period that the city of New York is allowing businesses to adapt to the ban. ("Here's to you, Bloomberg, you son of a bitch," she'll say three months from now as she tips back her last 20-ounce, the one that she's quietly laced with cyanide.)

Her coworker Irene Prois adds, "If someone wants it, they're going to get it. [My boyfriend] doesn't care. He'll just get a double." (They, too, will die for their cause.)


While some are fighting and drinking bravely and publicly, other have moved to the underground. Says 47-year-old Sprite enthusiast, rebel and "Bad" singer Michael Jackson, "All I have to do is go to Jersey, or to 7-Eleven." (7-Elevens are regulated by the state rather than the city and are legally allowed to continue selling large soft drinks.)

While some are readying themselves for the worst, relief may be on the way. The ban is currently facing legal challenges in the State Supreme Court, leaving some businesses — Starbucks and Dallas BBQ among them — hesitant to hand over their 16+ ounce cups. Others aren't even going to try and fight.

Says Brandon Serrano, manager of Cobble Hill Cinemas in Brooklyn, "I guess we're just doing it. I guess there's no way of rebelling against the man."

Or at least so says the craven.

Preparation and Vows of Defiance as Big Sugary Drink Ban Is Set to Start [NYT]

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Ughhhhh... as a New Yorker, do you know what drives me crazier about this soda ban than anything else? How all these people seem to give SO MANY MORE FUCKS about this than they do about other extremely important things going on in New York (both the city and the state). Legislators and advocates of gender equality are trying to pass the Women's Equality Act this year and the general public seems to care and know SO much less about that than about the soda ban. I work at an educational nonprofit and when there were major funding cuts to NYC after-school programs last year? Not NEARLY this much outrage from the general public.

I just don't understand why soda is the thing that most motivates the masses to act. Why do you care so much about soda and so little about other things, people? Whyyyyyyyyy???