NY Clerk Resigns Rather Than Enable Gay Marriages

Illustration for article titled NY Clerk Resigns Rather Than Enable Gay Marriages

"I had to choose between my job and my god," Barker town clerk Laura Fotusky told Politico. In her resignation letter, she wrote, "The Bible clearly teaches that God created marriage between male and female as a divine gift that preserves families and cultures." We recommend the above flow chart for further reference on what the Bible says about marriage.

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"I had to choose between my job and my god,"

Okay, reasonable. But while you're busy with the self-satisfaction that you have done right by God, have fun living under these restrictions as well:


If it is discovered that a bride is not a virgin, the Bible demands that she be executed by stoning immediately.


If a married person has sex with someone else's husband or wife, the Bible commands that both adulterers be stoned to death.

MARK 10:1-12

Divorce is strictly forbidden in both Testaments, as is remarriage of anyone who has been divorced.


The Bible forbids a married couple from having sexual intercourse during a woman's period. If they disobey, both shall be executed.

MARK 12:18-27

If a man dies childless, his widow is ordered by biblical law to have intercourse with each of his brothers in turn until she bears her deceased husband a male heir.


If a man gets into a fight with another man and his wife seeks to rescue her husband by grabbing the enemy's genitals, her hand shall be cut off and no pity shall be shown her.