Photo: AP

So long as infamous 86-year-old jewel thief Doris Payne is free and breathing, she will be trying to steal some shit. I beseech the authorities to please just accept this and let the woman be on her way.

On Monday, Chamblee police arrested Payne at a Walmart in Georgia for allegedly shoplifting about $86 worth of merchandise, and briefly jailed her. Police told CBS affiliate WGCL-TV that a loss prevention officer observed Payne stealing an array of items from various departments throughout the store.

The Atlanta Journal Constitution reported that Payne was then arrested for a second time on Tuesday and booked into a DeKalb jail on a probation violation charge.

A spokesperson for the state Department of Community Supervision, James Hill, issued a statement on Tuesday assuring the good people of Georgia that the octogenarian has been apprehended; they need not fear for their lives or property any longer:

“Once notified of Payne’s subsequent arrest, our officers acted swiftly to hold her accountable for the alleged criminal activity. She was instructed to report to a local Department of Community Supervision office where she was taken into custody on a probation violation warrant earlier yesterday. Payne is currently being held without bond in the DeKalb County Jail.

DCS believes in providing offenders under our supervision with opportunities to make positive changes through individual support, programs and assistance. However, the safety of Georgia citizens and the protection of all property are our greatest concerns.”

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Payne was first arrested back in 1952, and pulled off her largest heist (at least of those we know about) in the 1970s, when she was caught stealing a ring worth $500,000 from Monte Carlo.

In 2013, a documentary called The Life and Crimes of Doris Payne was made about her, and she brags in it of her extraordinary prowess as a jewel thief. “There’s never been a day that I went to steal when I did not get what I went to do,” says Payne in the documentary. I might get business cards made just to use that quote for something. I adore this woman. Free her this instant.