Noted Deal Expert Quickly Gives Up on Funding for His Border Wall

I would make a joke but I’m too distracted by that unbelievably ugly tie!

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

• Trump is no longer insisting that “The Wall” be funded in this week’s short-term spending measure, which has to pass on Friday in order to avoid a government shutdown—something Republicans really did not want. Is it possible... that Donald Trump... isn’t actually very good at negotiating? Send help, for my world has been turned upside down. [New York Times]
• Not to worry—Ted Cruz has a great and workable proposal for who might fund the border wall. [New York Post]
• In other unsurprising news, Michael Flynn may have broken the law. [New York Times]
• We’re in a trade war with Canada now, I guess? [ABC News]
• Following backlash, the State Department has removed an article from its website that flagrantly promoted the president’s private Florida club. The State Department has apologized “for any misperception.” [The Washington Post]
• The Daily Beast identified New Hampshire state representative Robert Fisher (R) as the likely individual behind Reddit’s “Red Pill” forum, a breeding ground for misogynists. Among other musings, Fisher wrote: “I’m going to say it—Rape isn’t an absolute bad, because the rapist I think probably likes it a lot.” [The Daily Beast]
• Former acting Attorney General Sally Yates is scheduled to appear next month at a Senate hearing on Russian interference in the 2016 election. [Associated Press]
• Here’s the president standing like a fucking baby. [Twitter]
• Much like a baby, he also struggles to pronounce words that are easy for everyone else to say, such as... “Nazi.” [Twitter]
• This is nice. [Twitter]

Here are some tweets that the president was allowed to publish:

This has been Barf Bag.