New York Fashion Week 2023: Animals, Insects, and So Many Fucking Flowers

Where labia meet strawberry ice cream. This coat hits all my interests.

Need more designers to start drawing their floral inspiration from Limited Too’s (RIP) inflatable furniture and accessories.

The roses lining the runway can be recycled afterward for the funerals of the interns who undoubtedly had to find, plant, grow, love, and care for, then pluck and place. Rest in power.

18th-century widow, but make it less “in mourning” and more “I’m the one who murdered him,” with a Handmaids Tale bonnet twist.

A real femme-fatale take on Beauty and the Beast: Belle steals the rose, fiddles around with the magic then, instead of falling in love with the Beast, curses him to forever live as a screen print on her new pair of pants. The scrambled egg bra is a metaphor for cracking open the societal expectations placed on women, or something.

It’s always “what does the fox say?” and never “how does the fox feel?”—until now. Brava.

Florals for the depths of winter? This puffy parka sets one up nicely for a sub-zero Garden of Eden.

Anyone who ever doubted horse girls and guys who wear reptile shirts’ ability to coexist is shaking in their boots! Finally, peace within the weirdo animal community, wrapped into one outfit.

This fit screams, “I’m not a regular boss who is going to lay you off from your job, I’m a cool boss who is going to lay you off from your job in a meeting with the password, ‘Spring is here.’”

No one tell middle school me that the detailed doodles of hot girl faeries in the margins of her U.S. history textbook are now high fashion. I can’t imagine how that would have gone to my head.

If you’ve been wondering when Donatella Versace would cameo in the Lord of the Rings universe, you’ve got your answer. Similarly, this could be a promo for The Bachelor, Middle Earth. “I didn’t come here to make friends, I came here in search of the ring.”

Looks like PETA finally scared Cruella Deville straight.

Admittedly, this might be just the model’s alarmingly bored demeanor, but this looks like the perfect dress to wear when you’re being dragged to your ninth bridal shower of the year.

We are officially starting a countdown clock to see how long it will take before Mariah Carey wears this getup, or Kendall Jenner wears it to a friend’s wedding. I give it less than four weeks. Watch this space.

This woman looks like a head of goddamn lettuce! What is going on, here? I want to cry into my salad, not wear it.

I’m sorry, I am through...THROUGH with Bored Apes. How does this horrible tacky gimmick have such a freaking grip on the culture? Release us!

Come-come my lady, you’re my butterfly, sugar baby: It’s about time we get a hot Goth Butterfly.

Speaking of hot Goth Buttery...hot Goth Fairies are the only logical next step.

When will the unrealistic beauty standards end? Disappointed to see NYFW lionizing such an unattainable form, almost impossible for the average consumer to imagine themselves wearing this. But, I will say: impossibly cute.