New York City Is Still Plugging Away at the Whole Topless Ladies Thing

Illustration for article titled New York City Is Still Plugging Away at the Whole Topless Ladies Thing

The amount of time spent by the New York City government on the question of Times Square’s off-brand costumed performers and bare-breasted “desnudas” continues to compound, as a mayoral task force recommends rules for “when and where” they can pester tourists for money. Isn’t it great that literally all of the city’s other problems have already been solved?


How exactly they’re going to enact limits—well, that’s the question. You see, it’s not as simple as writing some rules and posting them everywhere, the New York Times reports:

The task force, co-chaired by Mr. Bratton, recommended that the city refurbish the plazas instead while seeking the authority to regulate how people can behave on them.

One potential obstacle is that the plazas occupy what were streets controlled by the city’s Transportation Department. The task force recommended that the city authorize the department to make “rules to manage commercial and civic activities in pedestrian plazas,” according to a summary of the recommendations obtained by The New York Times.


Then, of course, they have to grapple with the fact that there’s a strong argument that what the performers are doing, topless and ripoff Elmo alike, is perfectly legal. Apparently it could take a year after they wrap up this proposed “refurbishment” to actually get the rules squared away.

Thank God that hurricane isn’t pointed our way because at this rate they’d ass-deep in seawater, still yakkin’ about nipples.

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Photo via AP Images.

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I had to walk through Times Square last week (not my choice, trust me) and those women and the people dressed as characters are fucking menaces. They literally walk in front of you to try and get you to stop, they were leaping into the background of people taking pictures and then demanding to be paid. They made it so much harder to get around that damn place and were shouting at people’s kids to come and take a picture with Elmo. It’s a fucking mess.

Times Square is and will always be a cesspool, whether it’s full of porn and junkies or bright, shiny monoliths to consumerism. But something has to be done to make it suck less and getting rid of these guys should be step one.