New Research on Networking and Sex Wins Stereotype Bingo

Every week or so, a book promises to “break all the rules” and “tell it like it is,” and this week is no exception. This time, the mind blowingly predictable series of yawn bombs will be dropped on the world of business networking. Specifically, the role of sexy sex mcsex and sexiness in networking. What widely accepted stereotypes will be enforced this time? Let’s find out!

Men have difficulty avoiding acting sexist at networking events.
According to research by CIO Insight, the upcoming book Business Networking and Sex contains some helpful advice on how not to piss off the ladyfolk. One way to make women not want to punch you in the pants: don’t look at their tits while they’re talking (most women, contrary to popular belief, emit sounds using their face), and only ask questions germane to your mutual business interests. That means that even though a friendly boob honk might mean “ahoy!” in the imaginary world you think used to exist, no longer. Eye contact, and no seduction attempts. Capiche?

Women are more afraid of being Business Assaulted than men are.
The research found that 64% of women say they never feel unsafe leaving networking events, compared with 82% of men. Now, I don’t have my thinking cap on right this second, but that may be because women are told they’re going to get raped unless they hold their car keys the right way as they walk through the parking garage.

People enjoy looking at hot people.
“Not to be sexist, but the hot businesswoman will always draw a larger crowd at networking functions because men assume that giving business to her will make her like him,” says one totally brave survey respondent who dared blow your fucking mind with a hard to grasp truth. Hot people: fun to look at. The value of a women’s ideas: often judged by how hot she is. More on this story as it develops!

Women need to stop men from trying to hit on them.
Dress appropriately and avoid flirting, advises CIO Insight helpfully. So, what they’re saying is— I should avoid discussing blow job techniques with professional associates? Novel! Unfortunately, there’s no item that encourages some men to stop assuming that every female-initiated social interaction constitutes vaginally-issued “Admit One Penis” pass. Nor does the research urge some men to stop assuming that any clothing that betrays the fact that women have breasts constitutes “unprofessional” attire. “Avoid flirting” is about as helpful a bit of advice as “don’t be found attractive.”

Men are clueless cock-led rubes, women are afraid of men, people like hot people, and women are to blame for men getting the wrong idea. I believe we have a Stereotype Bingo, folks.