New Fifty Shades Manuscript Allegedly Stolen in Dumbest Heist Ever

Illustration for article titled New iFifty Shades /iManuscript Allegedly Stolen in Dumbest Heist Ever

Because here in America we use every part of every franchise, like a frontierswoman slaughtering a hog, come June 18 E.L. James is planning to release Grey, which is Fifty Shades rewritten from Christian’s perspective. (June 18 is, of course, Christian’s birthday, but I’m sure you knew that already.) However, British tabs are reporting that a copy has been stolen, and the perpetrators could even now be looking to sell their ill-gotten goods on the black market.


I can’t believe I have to say this, but: If you’re gonna steal something, make it a cache of diamonds or a fat stack of cash. Don’t land in legal trouble for an E.L. James novel.

All this is according to the Daily Mail:

It is understood that a copy of the new book, due to be released on June 18, was found to be missing this morning.

Police are said to be investigating the theft alongside publishers Penguin Randomhouse.

It is feared thieves may be planning to release pirated versions of the novel, or sell extracts to media outlets.


Publisher Penguin Random House wouldn’t comment “due to an ongoing police investigation,” so it sounds like they’re at least seriously entertaining the idea that it was the work of somebody with sticky fingers, rather than, say, a scatterbrained employee. Don’t fret, though—the book will still be released as planned. Until then, a teaser from James’s Instagram, from page 159 of the book. Nice? Nice. NICE.

Contact the author at

Images via AP, Amazon, E.L. James/Instagram

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Two hobbits were seen leaving the scene of the crime, headed to the closest volcano.