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Never Try to Improve Your Home

Illustration for article titled Never Try to Improve Your Home

Somebody recently got bit by a goddamn copperhead in a Lowe’s Home Improvement store.


The Associated Press points to a Facebook post by North Carolina’s East Lincoln Fire Department. It was, ultimately, a warning about the dangers potentially lurking in your local nursery: “Please watch the trees in the garden area of Lowes Home Improvement,” the department urged, adding that, “This could happen at any store that sells trees. So be mindful when shopping for gardening supplies.”

Local news outlet ABC 11 said the victim is expected to make a full recovery. But just to be on the safe side, leave your home exactly like it is. Don’t improve it. No trees, definitely. Why take a chance?


Photo via screencap, ABC 11.

Senior Editor, Attic Haunter, Jezebel

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The last year I worked in Shanghai I swear to you the principal came into my office with a trash bag and a pair of God Damn salad tongs and told me to go capture the snake in the cafateria