Nev Schulman Takes an 'Ugly Selfie' That Is Neither Ugly Nor a Selfie

It was only in September that our friend Nev Schulman took the brave, bold step of declaring the elevator he happened to be riding in, “abuse free,” a direct reference to NFL player Ray Rice assaulting his then-fiancé in an elevator.

At the time, the Catfish star received exactly the blowback and ridicule that his stupid, thirsty-ass picture deserved. Many suggested that Nev’s bandwagon-hopping photo was not only lame and disingenuous, but painfully lacking in self-awareness. Nev seemed to get the point and eventually deleted the photo. Later, Nev’s self-righteous photo was made hilariously ironic when it was revealed that our noble domestic violence crusader was kicked out of college for punching a woman.

And just like clockwork, our friend Nev is back with yet another sanctimonious social media posting and you really have to hand it to him: the man never lets us down.

The caption to the photo reads:

It doesn’t matter what you look like, nothing is uglier than spreading hate. The most beautiful thing you can be is kind and compassionate. #UglySelfieChallenge

Ok let’s talk about this. I personally have never heard of the #UglySelfieChallenge. That doesn’t mean that it’s not a thing, but I do have to question what the fuck the point of this is. The premise of the #UglySelfieChallenge seems to be that it doesn’t matter if you look ugly in an Instagram photo as long as you don’t have an ugly heart. I really hope Brookings Institute doesn’t get their hands on this one because clearly this groundbreaking idea is going to spark a revolution.

If Nev’s photo is, indeed, meant to be an ugly selfie, I must call attention to the fact that this is not a goddman selfie. Perhaps Nev mounted his camera, set a timer and then scampered into his pose, but my money is on that not being the case.

Second, what is ugly about this? Is it the words “HATE” written in giant letters? Is the mere presence of the word hate enough to constitute an entire photo being ugly? What if I had another sign that said: “DISCRIMINATION.” If I should next to Nev, it would say “HATE DISCRIMINATION,” which really is a rather beautiful sentiment.

What I’m saying is: Nev, what the fuck are you doing? And what are you wearing? And how long do you have to practice your serious face in the mirror before you strike that exact balance of Zoolander meets Malcolm X? Oh and also, Nev, please never stop, ok?