Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
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Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth

Neil Gorsuch Has Been Sworn In As Your 113th Supreme Court Justice

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O happy day.

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

  • Neil Gorsuch, speculated to become the most far-right member of the court, was sworn in as a Supreme Court justice today; Donald Trump made sure to thank Mitch McConnell, who essentially stole the seat, “for all that he did to make this achievement possible.” Haha! Trump also did that yank-y handshake thing again, and I’m kind of surprised no one’s shoulder has been dislocated at this point? [Washington Post]
  • Alabama governor Robert Bentley has been booked in jail, reportedly on charges of violating campaign finance rules. Bentley is expected to resign today amid allegations that he abused the powers of his office in order to cover up an affair, and really, the whole story is nuts—among other things, according to a lengthy House Judiciary report, Bentley sent (weird) texts to married aide Rebekah Caldwell that were linked up to his wife’s iPad, and also accidentally sent a text to his wife’s phone that read “I love you Rebekah.” A staffer who testified against him alleged that he threatened her on several occasions, and in 2016 found the words “die bitch” scratched into her car. [Washington Post, Talking Points Memo]
  • Mike Cox, an EPA staffer of 25 years, has quit the agency with a harsh letter to administrator Scott Pruitt. “The policies this Administration is advancing are contrary to what the majority of the American people, who pay our salaries, want EPA to accomplish,” he wrote, “which are to ensure the air their children breath is safe; the land they live, play, and hunt on to be free of toxic chemicals; and the water they drink, the lakes they swim in, and the rivers they fish in to be clean.” [Washington Post]
  • Relatedly, the president appears to have mended fences with the Kochs. Aw. [Politico]
  • A FOIA lawsuit has been filed demanding that the Trump administration release visitor log files from the White House and other Trump properties. [Politico]
  • Martin O’Malley is pretty sure he would have won if he’d been the Democratic nominee, you guys. [Huffington Post]

Here are some tweets that the president was allowed to publish:


This has been Barf Bag.