Money Isn't Real, and Cardi B Isn't 'Depreciating' the Value of a Birkin Bag

By Marie Solis  |  October 26, 2020 | 11:48pm
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Money Isn't Real, and Cardi B Isn't 'Depreciating' the Value of a Birkin Bag
Photo:Angela Weiss / AFP (Getty Images)

On Sunday night, Cardi B posted a video to Instagram addressing the racist trolls who are accusing her of depreciating the value of a Birkin bag by owning nearly two dozen of them.

“Why is it that y’all are asking female rappers if they can get an Hermès bag from the Hermès store,” she said in the video. “Y’all don’t do this to these white celebrities, so why is it that you gotta be asking us, like what the fuck? Why when a Black girl or a Hispanic girl has a bag, y’all have to question whether ‘oh is it fake?’ or ‘she’s a scammer’, or ‘she’s fucking [someone] for it’ Actually, there’s a lot of boss ass bitches out here.”

Apparently the origin of the criticism was an Instagram post turned semi-viral tweet that starts with the words “sorry idc if this comes off as anti-Black, but it is what it is,” which is certainly the prelude to an anti-Black statement.

The post goes on to cry tears for the “BILLIONAIRES who are spending months/years on a waiting list just to get one.”

“Birkins have literally lost their value,” the Instagram user wrote.

For those who aren’t up on the latest Birkin stats, the highly exclusive Hermès bags can cost as much as half a million dollars, and once required putting your name on a years-long waiting list to purchase one. (Now all you can do is “hope to be important enough or spend enough to be offered a Birkin bag,” according to Business Insider.) And rather than diminish, the value of a Birkin bag has increased 500 percent over the last 35 years.

Personally, I subscribe to the idea that money isn’t real and that no one needs so much of it that they can afford several $20,000 handbags. But still, Cardi has a point!!

Jennifer Garner had to debunk a pregnancy rumor waiting to happen on Sunday, after she posted a photo of herself holding a pumpkin in front of her stomach with a smaller pumpkin inside.

“I thought this was a pregnancy announcement for a hot second ,” one person wrote in the comments.

Garner, who already has three children with ex-husband Ben Affleck, was emphatic about there not being any hidden symbolism in the post: “STILL NOT HAVING MORE BABIES ,” she replied. “Good grief, I didn’t even see it, i just saw matching smiles ”

It’s easy to understand why someone might be confused about the signifiers in Garner’s post. The pumpkin pregnancy announcement has become its own sub-genre for maternity photo shoots. Just this week, Jersey Shore star Deena Cortese announced that she was expecting a second child with her own pumpkin-themed pregnancy reveal.

I would be happy for Garner if she were pregnant, but I’m happier now that I know her tiny smiling pumpkin inside of a pumpkin is just that—and I’m happier still, thinking that inside the tiny smiling pumpkin there might be another, tinier smiling pumpkin.