Mommy Wars

Illustration for article titled Mommy Wars

Ayelet Waldman: "We've evolved the June Cleaver image into something even more toxic...The burden has increased exponentially, and you're not even allowed to drown your sorrows in a gin and tonic." [USA Today]


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Well, I'm not entirely clear on why we're not allowed to drink, and it seems rather sketchy to me to contemplate the question of which you love more, husband or children, but I agree with her about the June Cleaver/more toxic issue. We've had a lot of talk on here about our obligation—not right—to do it all. Those without kids feel pressure to have them; those without a career feel pressure to have one (I know I do); those with both feel pressure to choose one or the other (and have people say hateful things to them like, "why'd you have children to put them in day care?"). I know what I'd like best is to see more women come out with a "fuck all of this; I am who I am" attitude, instead of going all panicky about whether they're doing it wrong. Reality isn't about who's doing what right. It's about what people actually do. So why should we be ashamed of doing what we do? We all do what we can to get by. It's a hard, dirty job. Anyone who thinks it's easy is welcome to enjoy it, but I refuse to lie to myself or anyone else about finding it difficult.