Mom Defends 5-Year-Old Son's Cross-Dressing Costume

When a five-year-old boy dressed up as Daphne from Scooby-Doo for Halloween, the other kids didn’t care. But several moms took it upon themselves to critique his costume. Luckily, his own mom was there to stand up for him.

According to Cop’s Wife’s post at Nerdy Apple Bottom, her son chose to dress as Daphne along with his best friend, a girl. But as Halloween approached, he began to worry that people would make fun of him. His mom reassured him, and indeed, the other kids seemed fine with his costume (which looks pretty awesome in the accompanying pic). The moms were the problem. Writes CW:

Two mothers went wide-eyed and made faces as if they smelled decomp. And I realize that my son is seeing the same thing I am. So I say, “Doesn’t he look great?” And Mom A says in disgust, “Did he ask to be that?!” I say that he sure did as Halloween is the time of year that you can be whatever it is that you want to be. They continue with their nosy, probing questions as to how that was an option and didn’t I try to talk him out of it. Mom B mostly just stood there in shock and dismay.

And then Mom C approaches. She had been in the main room, saw us walk in, and followed us down the hall to let me know her thoughts. And they were that I should never have ‘allowed’ this and thank God it wasn’t next year when he was in Kindergarten since I would have had to put my foot down and ‘forbidden’ it. To which I calmly replied that I would do no such thing and couldn’t imagine what she was talking about. She continued on and on about how mean children could be and how he would be ridiculed.

CW’s response is worth reading in its entirety, but my favorite part is this:

If you think that me allowing my son to be a female character for Halloween is somehow going to ‘make’ him gay then you are an idiot. Firstly, what a ridiculous concept. Secondly, if my son is gay, OK. I will love him no less. Thirdly, I am not worried that your son will grow up to be an actual ninja so back off.

What Moms A, B, and C illustrate so disturbingly is that supposedly well-meaning advice to help children (or adults) avoid “ridicule” is often a form of ridicule itself. And the best response to such concern-troll behavior is to call it out for what it is: bullying. CW does just that. And she winds up her post with these words:

If a set of purple sparkly tights and a velvety dress is what makes my baby happy one night, then so be it. If he wants to carry a purse, or marry a man, or paint fingernails with his best girlfriend, then ok. My job as his mother is not to stifle that man that he will be, but to help him along his way. Mine is not to dictate what is ‘normal’ and what is not, but to help him become a good person.