Mom and Teens Vandalize High School Football Field with Giant Dick

Illustration for article titled Mom and Teens Vandalize High School Football Field with Giant Dick

There are only two things that could get me to care about high school football. One is an episode of Friday Night Lights. Two is a group of real life vandals who sneak onto a high school football field and burn a giant dick into the grass with weed killer. Friday Night Lights is sadly over, but the story of the humongous field dong has only just begun.


A 50-year-old woman, her 16-year-old daughter and 17-year-old male friend from Temperance, Michigan are all being charged with vandalism after the trio snuck onto the Bedford High School football field and, using weed killer, burned a 100-yard penis into the grass. They say they got the idea from a previous prank that they saw on the internet.

Of the damage, which will cost an estimated $15k-20k to repair, school superintendent Mark Kleinhans remarked, "It's unfortunate that we have to divert funds to take care of this, and not just the dollars but the man power and all of the things that go along with that."


So far, the community has been chipping in to repair the damage in time for the first home game of the Bedford High School's varsity team.

"It means a lot," says one player's father. "That's why we put the word family out there on the field. They're one big family. It's on the back of their jersey and now it's going to be on the field and they'll come out here next week and do a good job."

The vandals may ultimately be expected to make reparations. The culprits have yet to be named (but if you ask me, this has that Collette family written all over it).

Coach Taylor does not approve.

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ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ : Bear Privilege is a Liberal Hoax

4th and schl0ng.