Miley Cyrus Announces She Doesn't Have to Be Gay After Discovering Not All Men Are Trash
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Miley Cyrus has, according to herself, staked a large part of her identity in being queer, and that’s fine. She was also in a decade-long hetero relationship with one Liam Hemsworth, and that’s fine, too. But now, in a live Instagram with her new boyfriend Cody Simpson, Cyrus suggests that maybe queerness is just a thing people choose in an effort to avoid shitty men? According to Cyrus,
“I was just being like, I don’t know, hardcore feminist vibes and just not allowing anyone in, but now I am. There are good men out there guys, don’t give up. You don’t have to be gay, there are good people with dicks out there, you just gotta find them. You gotta find a dick that’s not a dick, you know what I mean?
“You don’t have to be gay!” Simpson laughs as heart emojis throb from his eyeballs. I’m pretty sure he was laughing at the absurdity of that statement, but Cyrus went on.
“I know, I always thought I had to be gay, because I just thought like, all guys were evil, but it’s not true. There are good people out there that happen to have dicks,” she said, adding, “I only ever met one, and he’s on this live.”
Backlash followed quickly, and Cyrus put out a tweet that was maybe meant to clarify but didn’t, really.
“I was talking shit about sucky guys, but let me be clear, YOU don’t CHOOSE your sexuality,” she wrote. “You are born as you are. It has always been my priority to protect the LGBTQ community I am a part of.”
Is she part of it…voluntarily? Where even are we anymore?! [People]
Harris Reed, the designer who creates Harry Styles’ various looks, revealed in an interview with British GQ that Styles’ one-off outfits are more heavily secured than most Swiss bank accounts:
“I can’t say where it is located, but everything goes to an archive. It’s basically like a giant refrigerator — a frozen vault — somewhere in London where I am not going to disclose. But the clothes all have 24 hours surveillance, which you can look at via an iPad, specifically done for his outfits, and they have all been cryogenically frozen in time to preserve them.”
He continued, “That’s also what is more surreal for me. After his first solo tour that I produced 14-15 looks for — he wore about six or seven — I was wondering where the others were and he was like, ‘Don’t worry, they are all under surveillance.’ I was like, ‘Oh, that’s chic.’”
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- The palace is worried that Meghan Markle and Prince Harry are fucking everything up. [The Daily Mail]
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