Micro-Dose to Solve Your Problems

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I was extremely unemployed before landing my last job, which of course led me to a weird California desert town where I found myself dosing on shrooms way too strong for my New York City self. If only I knew the secret to getting your shit together was simply micro-dosing!

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As reported by USA Today, a new study has shown that consuming just the littlest bit of “magic mushroom” improves problem solving ability. Thirty-six people were asked to conduct small tasks whilst tripping subtle balls, and those who consumed just a smidgen were “more creative” and their “convergent thinking skills” improved.

Not only that, but the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (USDA) apparently has given some psychiatrists the go-ahead to dose patients with mushrooms to “help depression,” to which I say—please give me their phone numbers! 

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Read more at USA Today or maybe just look really hard at a black light poster.

Opinions only sometimes my own. Senior Writer, Jezebel. My debut book, LARGER THAN LIFE: A History of Boy Bands, is out now.

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DISCUSSION

I wish. I’ve wanted to try mushrooms as a treatment for the persistent depression I’ve suffered from for about 30 years now, ever since reading about some clinical trials a few years ago that produced some startlingly positive outcomes. However as a middle-age man with a social circle that’s so small it’s basically a dot, getting my hands on any is a practical impossibility since these are still (incomprehensibly) considered Schedule 1 drugs in the U.S.

I considered growing some since spores are (generally) legal to own and ship, but the process seems (based on descriptions/instructions I’ve read) very fussy and prone to failure. If I could at least try some, then I could justify the effort if I can confirm there’s therapeutic value for me. Or at least that’s what I tell myself.