Michele Bachmann Would Be A Great President In The Imaginary World She Made Up

Presidential candidate, vaccination expert, and executive level fearmonger Michele Bachmann has impressed many during this primary season with her public poise, debate sharpness, and seeming command of facts. Unfortunately, the facts that Michele Bachmann commands are made up facts from Planet Whackadoo that aren’t actually true at all. And more and more people are starting to notice.

A few errant statements by a political candidate are to be expected. Political candidates, after all, are required to command an encyclopedic knowledge and vocabulary of everything from economic policy to international relations to Supreme Court rulings during the campaign, but Bachmann has veered further and further from any semblance of fact as primary season approaches. We were among those who noticed that Bachmann’s not very best friends with the truth. Now the LA Times has pointed out a few more whoppers in her arsenal.

For example, during the Republican debate last week, Bachmann said that Iranian terrorists were coming into the US from Mexico. She doubled down at a campaign event in Iowa last week, insisting that 59,000 undocumented immigrants from state sponsors of terrorism like Yemen entered the US last year. Except Yemen isn’t a state sponsor of terrorism, and fewer than 700 people attempting to illegally enter the US last year were from countries that are terrorism sponsors. She said that when she was growing up, the highest income tax rate for a married couple was much lower than it is now, when in reality, the top income tax bracket is 35% now, whereas when Bachmann was growing up, it was 59%. At a recent campaign stop, she claimed that China is an awesome place to start a business because there are so few regulations and permits that need to be filed, when in reality China is among the most red tape-intensive places in the world for entrepreneurs. It’s a communist country, for Pete’s sake. Says the LAT,

Voters here frequently say they are drawn to support Bachmann’s presidential campaign by the litany of statistics and facts that stud her speeches. Yet what she says is often inaccurate, misleading or wildly untrue.

Bachmann’s even begun lying about things she said in the past. She compared homosexuality to slavery in 2004 and has campaigned furiously against gay marriage in Minnesota and Iowa. She’s said that giving gay people the right to marry is tantamount to taking away parents’ rights to “protect” their children from gay people. In spite of this, the Huffington Post reports that in the upcoming issue of People, Bachmann insists that she’s no better than anyone else. Except apparently she doesn’t think that parents need to protect their children from Michele Bachmann’s marriage, but they do need to keep Neal Patrick Harris hidden from the kids. Separate but equal, or something. More gymnastics goes on inside the brains of Michele Bachmann than all of Bela Karolyi’s bygone Romanian gymnasiums combined.

Time will tell what fantabulous solutions will come from Bachmann’s world of pure imagination, but until then, it’s undeniable that Bachmann has some great sounding solutions for this imaginary world she keeps talking about.