Michele Bachmann, Visionary, Calls For English To Be Declared Official Language of America

Illustration for article titled Michele Bachmann, Visionary, Calls For English To Be Declared Official Language of America

Speaking to a crowd in South Florida and demonstrating the tact and progressive thinking for which she's now universally acclaimed, Midwestern embarrassment Michele Bachmann told a crowd in the heavily Spanish speaking neck of the woods that illegal immigrants should be deported, babies born in the US shouldn't automatically be granted citizenship, and English should be made the official language of the country. Guess this means Michele Bachmann's going to have to learn to speak English.


The Palm Beach Post reports that the campaign stop was preceded by a proclamation by Bachmann that her views would attract conservative South Florida Latino voters. But some of her words at the surprise press conference left even the most right-leaning Cuban-Americans confused.

First, Bachmann suggested that people here illegally should be rounded up and sent back to their country,

When people are intercepted here illegally, they need to come within the confines of the law. If that means deportation, we need to have deportation.

She went on to say that illegal immigration costs the US $113 billion per year, or about $1,000 per household in South Florida. Except South Florida isn't paying for the entire rest of the country's immigration costs. Paging Questlove.

She also suggested that English be made the Official Language, because here in America, we talk American, not Cuban or Mexican.

Some observers speculate that Bachmann, who has been lagging behind in the polls for a dog's age, is just trying to stay in the news by saying outrageous things in the hopes that all the home schooled kids whose email addresses she stole will vote for her in Iowa.

In the off chance that every single other Republican candidate turns out to be the cast of Jackass in rubber masks and Bachmann wins the nomination, all hope isn't lost. Now that Cuba's opening up, maybe we can have a reverse Mariel Boat Lift, except instead of sending criminals to our island neighbors, we can just send our fed up elites who are sick of this English only xenophobia crap.


GOP contender Bachmann, in South Florida, calls for English to be official language of US Government [Palm Beach Post]



Of course English shouldn't be the national language. What a dumb fucking idea.


Because it would do nothing to remove the "hablamos Espanol" signs which infuriate right-wingers, and would instead ONLY apply to the government. And by doing so, it would violate our basic rights to due process and equal protection. If English were the "official" language, we'd have to eliminate bilingual government services like Spanish-language ballots at voting sites, and translation services in courtroom settings.

Besides that, it's patently un-American. This nation is a nation of mutts, and proudly so. The English language contains words from nearly every other language on Earth. Should we eliminate those words from our lexicon? Hell no.

The day I'm forced to give up phrases like "schmuck" and "buffalo-fucker," I'm outta here, thanks very much.