Michael Fassbender is an expert on celebrity penises. Don't believe me? Check him out as he participates in a game of "Members Only," a game in which he correctly identified the meat-and-potatoes of Harvey Keitel, Viggo Mortensen, and Watchmen's Dr. Manhattan (whose bright-blue member we thought was far too easy, by the way). The one celebrity schlong he couldn't place, however, was Jason Segel's — he must have missed its starring role in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, it would seem.
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Another Jezzie told me some Bad News about Michael Fassbender and now every time I see him it's like running into an ex after an awful breakup. His celebrity penis is a penis of deceit.