Vote 2020 graphic
Everything you need to know about and expect during
the most important election of our lifetimes

Mexican Fish Penis Bears Terrifying Resemblance To Se7en's "Lust" Spear-Dildo

Illustration for article titled Mexican Fish Penis Bears Terrifying Resemblance To iSe7en/is Lust Spear-Dildo

Um! If any girlfish are reading this, please beware when you come across male freshwater llanos mosquitofish, otherwise known as Gambusia quadruncus. The evolution of the females of this Mexican species has given them a large ball of tissue that blocks most of their genital canal in order to allow them to keep away the riff-raff and only mate with the desirable males. Unfortunately, the males have evolved in kind, their penises now featuring a four-pronged hook that helps them "overcome resistance" and latch on to the females' genital pore in order to deposit their sperm.

Advertisement

Here's Researcher Brian Langerhans of North Carolina State University, whose studies undoubtedly make him a great bar conversationalist, on the rather obvious benefits of having a dick that looks like a sword from Final Fantasy 8. (Click through for a shot of it, if you dare.)

Typically, reproduction is more costly in females, so females favor ways of reducing mating with 'lower quality' males, but reproduction is cheap in males and so selection favors ways of mating with as many females as possible.

Advertisement

Little does Langerhans know that he has just penned the opening monologue of the pilot for racy new HBO series Sex In The Mexican Freshwater. YO YOU GUYS, FISHDICKS.

'Llanos Mosquitofish's Penis Has 4 Hooks To Grab Females' [Huffington Post]

Image via lunamarina/Stockfresh

Share This Story

Get our newsletter

DISCUSSION

Ever see Isabella Rossellini's series about animal sex? It's both hypnotic and horrifying. She very frankly covers all of the different ways that non-humans bang each other, and treats them all like they're genuinely erotic, while dressed in little animal costumes.

I can never not hear about bedbugs and hear Isabella Rossellini crooning: "He ejaculates into my wooooound."