Melania Trump Visits the Children

Here’s all the shit we couldn’t cover today:

• Melania Trump visited Children’s National Health System yesterday where, according to a press release, she spoke with families and physicians about “their personal experiences and health care journeys, and how the gift of nature and the beauties of the outdoors can contribute to the healing process.” In a statement, the First Lady lauded “natural benefits” of gardens as an instrument “to enhancing the health and well-being of all children.” She made no mention of how children’s health might be affected if the Republicans and the President decide to gut the Affordable Care Act. Hey, at least they have the very lovely garden at Children’s National dedicated to all of the First Ladies. [ThinkProgress]
• Here’s a video of Melania reading Oh, The Places You’ll Go to kids at a New York hospital. [ABC]
• There are a thousand thinkpieces on the black Michael Kors outfit that Melania wore to the President’s address to Congress on Tuesday. Does black mean anything? And what about the sequins? What about the cost? Does it matter? Who knows? And what about Ivanka Trump? [New York Times; New York Magazine; The Daily Beast; The Entire Internet]
• In other Trump family news, Donald Trump Jr., a man who has never met a hair gel he didn’t love, was “likely” paid $50,000 for an appearance of at a French think tank “whose founder and his wife are allies of the Russian government in efforts to end the war in Syria.” [Wall Street Journal]
• A Democratic congressman made a gross joke about that picture of Kellyanne Conway sitting on a couch in the Oval Office. [Huffington Post]
• Ben Carson was confirmed. [Associated Press]
• Speaking of unqualified men, Rick Perry was also confirmed. [New York Times]
• Marco Rubio, who is currently hiding from his constituents, was booted from his Tampa office. The landlord and the building’s other residences were tired on the constant protests outside of the office. Maybe it would be easier to just meet with your constituents? [Tampa Bay Times]
• Here’s a helpful timeline on the Jeff Sessions fiasco. [New York Times]
• Patricia Espinosa, the climate chief for the United Nations, said that the State Department didn’t respond to her requests for a meeting to discuss climate change goals. The State Department said that they’re currently “conducting a broad review of international climate issues.” [The Guardian]
• Finally, someone recognizes the inanity of calling “almond milk” milk. That said, the DAIRY PRIDE Act sounds pretty silly. [Buzzfeed]

Here are some tweets that the president was allowed to publish:

This has been Barf Bag.